Almost on the brink of extinction

It's almost the last week of winter.
The last couple of days was a nightmerish hell. It almost took my soul. It was so near.
I was never scared like this. Fear, body pain, psichycal anguish, chaotic fervent malevolence. My whole world at the nearest point close to Sunder. It almost had me.
I never tought I would see all the lords of terror, destruction and fear in such a brief period.
My baby got mad on me (and for good reasons I would mention) and also made some mistakes. Everything condensed in a dark void that quenched my soul into near-nothingness. A horrible feeling. Cold shivers, nausea, vomiting, that darn pain in my stomach once again. I barely made it out of it.
Luckily the things settled after some serious "between-grown-ups" talking. I realised some things that explained a lot of my worries and neverending questions, even though not all of them. In one short sentence: "History repeats itself." That's a fact. I was so near of making some old mistakes again. That surely thought me a lesson... Oh God, and what a great lesson!
The wounds are not healed though. I still have some unanswered questions, I still have some (tiny) things to fear but overall it made myself rethink my life-guiding strategies and organise them.
I surely love my pearl-eyed baby. I definitely miss her every moment she's not near me.
Tonight, for the first time in months our kiss was magic. Like Before.
I have great expectations for our future. I certainly hope I won't be dissapointed. It would probably cost me everything...
Anyway... an alarm signal has been generated. I have to stay focus. I have to think before acting. I have to be more careful. By all means and on all levels.

Semper vigilantes.

Mid-February

Yesterday was Valentine's Gay... uuhh I mean Day. (Or Ballantine's Day :)) )
I kinda don't like this fuckin' entirely-commercial American-flavored day. Wtf? It's not a national celebration and you don't need a fuckin' "special" day to say "I love you"! Blah blah...
Speaking of love I have an urge to say it loudly: "I definitely love my girl!" But I don't need the "Ballantine's Gay" for this.
Smooches!